Eyes Closed
by lastchancetoSPEAKNOW
Summary: Ryan holds Marissa in his arms in the middle of the street...and her eyes close.For a short while, Ryan's do too. He tries to overcome both his injuries and the death of Marissa.
1. It Should've Been Me

**DISCLAIMER: THE O.C. INCLUDING ALL OF THE CHARACTERS DOES NOT BELONG TO ME.**

**Hey guys! This is my first fanfic ever...so please review! I hope you like it!**

**Chapter 1. It Should've Been Me.**

Marissa's eyes slowly closed, a faint smile etched on her face, looking up at Ryan.

"Marissa? Marissa please, wake up" There was no answer. Ryan held Marissa on his lap allowing the tears the tears that had been threatening since she begged him to stay with her, to spill. All was dark except for the flames that were still devouring around the vehicle. He sat there, still as a stone, hoping that someone would see the flames and call anyone.

"Shit". Ryan had shifted a little over to stay clear of the intensifying heat, but became aware of a sharp pain in his side. Painful, but familiar. A broken rib…or two. But unlike the other times, the pain from his ribs was accompanied by blood; one of the ribs had broken through the skin. As the minutes passed and he finally heard a dull siren in the distance, he started becoming aware of other pains as well. A concussion, as judged by his throbbing headache and dizziness, and painful spasms in his leg. The flames were beginning to subside-or so Ryan thought, as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

"It should've been me Ris. It should be me," he murmured stroking Marissa's hair. "This is all my fault."

The ambulance and fire truck were now pulling to halt, and EMTs were running to Ryan and Marissa. Time slowed. His breathing grew shallow.

"I'm sorry Sandy," he whispered. Ryan's eyes closed, plunging him into complete darkness.

**Short, I know, BUT THERE'S MORE! Good stuff coming...**

**REVIEW! :)**


	2. It's Ryan

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE O.C. OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS.**

**Here we go...**

Chapter 2.

Ryan felt like he was floating. He knew he wasn't dead, since he could still feel his injuries and he was aware of a voice in the distance.

"Sir, can you hear me? I've got a weak pulse in the male, shallow breathing, and a weak heartbeat. I've got nothing in the female though."

"Alright, roll over the stretcher, we need an adult neck brace and grab the reeves as well." One of the EMTs adjusted the neck brace on Ryan, and with the help of his crew, strapped him onto the reeves and then lifted him up onto the stretcher. "Darlene, keep talking to him, try to get him to wake up"

A nervous explorer stepped forward and started talking to Ryan with urgency, hoping that he'd open his eyes. Half way to the hospital, his blue eyes opened.

"Ma..Marissa," he muttered.

Darlene spoke up. "Sir can you tell me your name?"

"Ryan. Where, where am I? Where's 'rissa?

"You're on your way to HOAG Ryan, you're doing great. Do you know what happened?"

"Marissa. Where is she?" Ryan asked, becoming clearer. "The..there was an accident. Voulchak. He..oh god, no no. Get me out of here. MARISSA!" he yelled.

"Ryan we need you to calm down. Come on, Ry, we're at the hospital now."

They unloaded the thrashing teen from the ambulance, quickly calling out information to the nurses in the emergency room. Ryan only caught bits of what they were saying.

"lost a lot of blood.." "acting up.." "concussion"

Faces swam in and out of Ryan's vision, but one doctor started shining a penlight in his eyes, and he swatted it away.

"Ryan we need you to work with us. Can you tell me who I can contact? Parents? Guardians?" he asked.

"Ssandy and Kirstennn. Cccohen." Ryan stuttered. "They they don't know. They'll bbe worried."

"Okay, don't worry Ryan, I'll have a nurse call them right now. As for you, we're having an OR prepped to take care of those ribs of yours. I'm Dr. Zacchias.

Back at the Cohen household, Sandy and Kirsten relaxed, still full of disbelief that Seth and Ryan were already so old.

"Graduation. Well, I'll tell you, I never saw this coming. I figured Seth would be in the middle of the ocean somewhere and well, Ryan? I never imagined this moment for him. I mean I hoped, but it felt like something kept hindering his future." Sandy said.

"I know what you mean. Seth was so..distant. I thought we were losing him. And well, Ryan. I'm so glad that you brought him into this house," Kirsten said, standing up and wrapping her arms around Sandy's neck. "We've done well." She whispered in his ear.

"We sure have," Sandy laughed.

At that very moment, Seth, who had just arrived home, walked into the kitchen, throwing his hands in front of him.

"Alright, alright, I know you're all surprised that Ryan graduated, but geez, no need to get mushy. Is Ryan home yet? Him and Marissa were supposed to meet Summer and I at the grill, but they never showed. Not that I'm complaining." Seth chattered away.

Concern flashed in Sandy's eyes. "They never met up with you guys? Well, I'm sure he'll be home soon."

"Haha, yeah with a girl on each hip, headed to the pool house, while I cry upstairs with Captain Oats." Seth exclaimed.

"Seth….." Kirsten warned.

At that moment, the phone let off a shrill ringing. Sandy walked over and picked it up. His face immediately paled.

"We'll be right there" Sandy said. He hung up the phone, and looked at Seth and Kirsten. "That was HOAG. It's Ryan".

**This one was a bit longer :) I hope you guys are starting to get hooked..well actually, I hope that someone's at least reading! So if anyone's out there, review!**


	3. All My Love

**I'm so sorry this took so long. Hurricane Sandy knocked out out my power for 14 days and then the Nor'easter on top of that was just insane. I'm okay though. Only tons of down trees. I hope everyone donated at least a dollar during the relief concert last night! New York and Jersey just really need help. I had a few down trees, no biggie. But other people, like one of my teachers, don't have a home anymore. In my area, we were out of school for two weeks. I was overloaded with all of the work I got when school was back. FINALLY i had a chance to update tonight!**

The drive to the hospital seemed to take hours. The silence in the car kept tensions high and anxiety building.

"Dad what did they exactly say on the phone? I mean, there could be another Ryan. Did they say Atwood? Or Cohen? Because if they said Cohen, we probably have some long lost cousin out there who just wants us to pay his bill or something. Ryan's still out with Marissa. He's fine." Seth said.

Sandy shook his head and looked at his son in the rearview mirror. Seth was pale, looking like he was going to have a nervous breakdown at any moment. Ryan was his best friend. Is his best friend. He would say anything to deny that Ryan is hurt.

"I'm sorry Seth, but they said Atwood. I really don't know more. They said he was in critical condition, suffering severe injuries from a car accident, and that there was another passenger as well, but couldn't release any further information."

"Sandy, oh honey, I need to call Julie. You know it was Marissa in that car. Oh God." Kirsten exclaimed.

"I'm sure the hospital contacted her already." Sandy replied. For once, Sandy Cohen was at a loss for words. He couldn't give his family any reassurances, just bad news.

A few minutes later, they arrived at the hospital and burst through the doors, not even giving the nurse a chance to speak before they all started shouting different things.

"Ryan Atwood! What room is he in?"

"Is Ryan in surgery? Oh God he's not in the morgue is he? WHERE'S MY BROTHER?"

The nurse raised her arms in the air, signaling for them to quiet down, but she was a second too late; they already had. All eyes were turned toward the other side of the ER, where Julie Cooper stood crying while a doctor tried to comfort her. Her entire body was trembling, and her legs seemed unable to hold her weight no longer. She slumped down on one of the chairs for a brief second, but then jumped up at the sight of the Cohen's. She ran right up to Kirsten and Sandy, and started screaming and shouting.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, IF YOU HAD NEVER BROUGHT THAT BOY IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, MARISSA WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN OUT TONIGHT ON THE ROADS. SHE COULD'VE BEEN WITH LUKE, WHO WOULD'VE SAFELY GOT HER HOME. THAT BOY RUINS PEOPLE. I HOPE HE DIES. DO YOU HEAR ME? I HOPE HE NEVER SEES THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN. HE TOOK MY MARISSA'S LIFE. HE SNATCHED IT AWAY. IT SHOULD'VE BEEN HIM NOT HER. YOU,YOU, I….." Her screaming switched over into more sobbing, as she seemed to melt to the ground.

The Cohen's stood there rooted to the ground.

"Marissa. No Marissa…she's not dead. No. She can't be," Seth said, looking back and forth between his parents.

Sandy seemed to gain his speech back, and stepped forward toward Julie, placing a hand on Seth's shoulder.

"Julie, I'm so sorry to hear about Marissa. I'm sorry. But you're upset. You need somebody to take you home. You're not thinking clearly, and I think you've already said enough." He said quietly, trying to keep his temper in check.

Just at that moment, Summer stepped into the waiting room with her father, tears glistening on her cheeks. Speaking directly to Seth, she said, "I just, I just saw her Cohen. Said goodbye. I gotta get out of here for now. I'm really sorry. Just give all my love to Ryan". And with that, she ran out of the hospital.

Neil walked over to Sandy, telling him that a doctor would be in shortly about Ryan's condition. He then took Julie's hand, helping her off the floor and out the doors.

Before a word could be uttered, a doctor walked into the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen for Ryan Atwood?"


End file.
